The constant fight between being enough and getting better

There are two sides fighting in me all the time. I do tell people who visit me and need advice or help in their lifes that their life as it is is precious and enough. But when I look a me, in the other hand I think that I’m enough, but in the other hand I need to get better. Better as an artist, as a man, as a husband, as a parent, as a friend, as a musician or a singer as a choir leader. I have this need to get better or be better or do better. I do believe that the need to do better makes me better but I do want to think that where I am no, is fundamentaly enough. That is what I want to message other people too. They are enough.

There is always a possibility to get better or be more or do more. Sometimes I tend to try too much and be too much or I do too much to get better in a short amount of time. It can be very stressful. That’s why I write this post. So this over-achieving could slow down. In me and maybe in others who need to slow down a little. I know that there is so much to do in life and so little time. There is always tomorrow or next year. Well when you start thinking that way you may drift to procrastination and that’s no good either. There have to be a balance. But how to achieve that. And now I start to think how to rest most effictively so I could do more work and gain best results. That’s no good.

Being enough as a person and doing enough with the strenght you have should be enough. You should be enough for the people around you and for the rest of us too. Developing your skills and craft and working hard should be something you really want and it shouldn’t be a measurement for how good person you are. There is this constant fight going on still. Even in something what I think of fun time and leasurement like gaming have achiements and skill development.

There has to be a time and place for total relaxation. A state of mind when you don’t have to do anything or have to look after anyone or have any responsibilities what so ever. I really see difficulties to get this state especially with single-parents who have small children or with people who have many responsibilities in work and other parts of their life, like taking care of their parents. It’s like a rubber band which is constantly streched and never released, it’ll eventually break.

I hope everyone have the opportunity to have responsibility-free time and if you know someone who hasn’t please help them out. Sometimes you only need a little help to carry on with daily chores.

Other thing that helps to get away from responsibilities and stress is other people. It’s easier to relax when you are surrounded with a group of friends. This is why I really encourage my wife to go out with her girlfriends. It’s really important to loosen that rubber band occasionally. If your friend or loved one is really stressed and don’t have the strength to go out and hang with friends, please advice her/him to go anyway. It’s usually refreshing especially when you have small children in the house.

It’s sometimes difficult to find that balance between knowing you are enough the way you are and trying more and getting better at doing your stuff. It sure is important to say to people that they indeed are important and to think that you are important too.

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